Service Water?

Drive-Thru:  Will that complete your order ma’am?

Katie: Could I also have 3 service waters?

Drive-Thru:  Could you repeat that?

Katie:  3 service waters

Drive-Thru:  What was that?

Katie:  3 service waters

Drive-Thru (new person):  Excuse me?

Katie: 3 service waters

-long pause-

Drive-Thru:  That was 3 Citrus Mojo Platters?

Katie:  No, 3 service waters!

-long pause-

Drive-Thru:  Pull up to the front please

-drive up to the window-

Server:  Sorry, I couldn’t understand you, what was that?

Katie:  Could I have 3 service waters?

Server:  Repeat that?

Katie:  3 service waters

Server:  What kind of platters?

Katie:  No, 3 service waters

-blank stare-

Katie:  3 waters

Server:  OH, water!  Sure, no problem

(mumblings in the back “what did she want?” “3 waters”)

-drive off with 3 service waters-

“Service” water theories

What exactly is this “service” water?  Is it something different from “water” water?  Why was the katie so determined to drink this “service water” as opposed to regular water?  Let’s speculate.

Vocabulary Theory – There is no such thing as “service” water.  The katie, being illiterate,  just mistook it for one of these ACTUAL words:

Shower water

Surfer water

Surface water

Safer water

Sewer water

Citrus Mojo Platters

Huang Theory – 3 “servings” of water

Fetch Theory  The term “service water” does not yet exist, but the katie, being unpopular, wants it to become a term so she can then claim credit for coming up with the term, thus becoming popular.

Nuclear Power Plant Service Water Systems Theory – After googling “service water”, the first search result was of Nuclear Power Plant Service Water Systems.  According to this theory, “service water” DOES indeed exist, but as a shorthand for another term.  In this case, it would be referring to the Service Water Systems at any nuclear power plant which is often referred to as “service water”.  If this is actually what the katie was referring to, then the katie would NOT be illiterate at all!

But this theory does lead us into another conundrum: why was the katie wanting to drink nuclear power plant water systems?  It may be possible to EAT nuclear power plant water systems, but to DRINK something that is partially solid and quite massive seems dangerous, if not impossible.  Therefore, we must continue to look for answers.

Mikachu Theory – The katie is ordering service water, in this case service water referring to radioactive water from nuclear power plants, in order to swallow radioactive material.  This will give it super powers so one day it can save the earth.  Although it is likely that the katie would want to get super powers so it can stand out, this theory has one very big hole in it.  The katie would never want to save the world!  Perhaps destroy the world?

 Willard Theory – AsI continued my search on google for the illusive “service water”, I came across an ACTUAL definition for it!

Service water is an oft neglected necessity on hydraulic dredges.  It is one of a number of vital components required to assure efficient and trouble-free dredge operation.

The website’s provided PowerPoint also included several uses for service waters.

“Service water at sufficient volume and pressure is used to:”

  • Lubricate the dredge pump shaft in the packing gland.
  • Cool the pump shaft sleeve and packing.
  • Seal the gap between the pump shaft sleeve and packing.
  • Flush solids out of the gap between the bearing side plate and impeller.
  • Flush abrasive particles out of the rotary cutterhead marine bearings.
  • Flush and lubricates lineshaft marine bearings.
  • Cool hydraulic oil.
  • Cool the engine coolant.
  • Jet loose material near the suction inlet.
  • Jet wash down high banks of material.
  • Drink.

Surprisingly, the last use for service water listed in the bullets was not originally included in the website!  I have taken the liberty to include it there myself because obviously Willard’s list is incomplete.  Service water is very much so used for drinking, as was demonstrated by the katie, who was very eager to drink it.

So, there we have it.  I believe that out of the discussed theories, the last theory, Willard’s Theory, is most likely the correct theory.  Why would the katie be asking for something that does not actually exist?  This does not make sense at all, so we must accept Willard’s Theory, which gives a definition for service water, therefore establishing its existence.

As the demand for service water grows (because hydraulic dredging is becoming a popular pastime for preteens), this term will become more commonplace, so I suggest that you familiarize yourself with this term now as you will need it in the future.

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  1. This has been very educational! I will be asking for service water everywhere I go in future. Thanks!

  2. LOSER! YOU SUCK BOO! >: ( I probably caught it from the Philippines. I think Aunt Lily uses the term. Also, I really doubt that Pollo Tropical is your fav type of water! It all tastes the same, so stop trying to get water there. You never drink it anyways!

    • mooimmapiggy
    • April 28th, 2012

    I think you missed a vital theory. WHAT IF the katie ordered service water in hopes of swallowing a radioactive material so she’ll one day get powers and save the earth.

  3. What IS service water O_O

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